Wednesday, May 8, 2019

A letter to all of you (from people who kind of know me to those who love me wholeheartedly)

Dear Everyone,
  Tomorrow I defend my doctoral dissertation.  My study, which is about the impact of sexual health education for people with disabilities, began as a spark of an idea a few years ago when I was running the youth program at IndependenceFirst and teaching accessible sexual health education.  I think it began even before that when I walked into a special education classroom as a substitute teacher for MPS in 1998 and realized there was such a thing as a calling.
  Since that time, I've worked with, advocated for and befriended people with disabilities, gave birth to my son Coen, lost the hearing in my left ear due to a tumor, married Tad (who is my soulmate--I believe in that too), got a master's degree as a Trinity Fellow at Marquette University, began working at IndpendenceFirst where I grew up as a professional and a person, settling into the work I do now, had a miscarriage, bought a house on 55th street and grew my community, found Highland Community School and grew my community more, gave birth to my daughter Lucy, saw my mom fight through a hat-trick of cancer, found a really great therapist, got a hearing aid, and traveled the country and the world in my service and work.  Three years ago, I left the  job I loved to pursue a life long dream of getting a PhD and becoming a professor.
   It was scary and difficult and exhausting and exhilarating and empowering as an experience.  I watched my kids struggle with my absences, saw my husband bravely return to his writing career to care for his physical, mental and spiritual health, lived on the tiniest income, drove to Madison and back countless times, slept on a friend's couch many nights a week, and wrote and read and researched and passed preliminary examinations.  I did all this with perseverance and hard work and a lot of energy. But I also did it with privilege--privilege of wonderful parents, the friendship of my sister, lots of other friendships, the privilege of finding the right person to fall in love with and create other people, and my opportunities for education throughout my life, the privilege of the color of my skin, the fortune of (mostly) good health, the travel I've been allowed to do, and the people who supported me, mentored me and held me up. These past three years, pushed forward with this privilege, and doing a little good work ;), I taught and learned and grew... and tomorrow I finish.
   I guess what I'm saying here is thank you. Thank you if you're reading this and you are my friend, or someone who's supported me. Thank you if you were part of this journey of mine in any way at all. Thank you if you fed my kids or Tad during this time. Thank you if I stayed at your house, or walked with you, had coffee or lunch with you, or called you/or you called me.  I'm also saying this: If you have a dream, go get it!  If you need help, let people know. They will help.  Reach out.  Reach in.
   In fall I get to start working as professor of rehabilitation counseling and mental health counseling back at Marquette.  I hope that I serve my students with integrity and authenticity. I hope that I remember to check my privilege and that people will remind me when I don't.  I am so happy that I got to reach this goal (almost...think of me tomorrow!) and that I get to serve Milwaukee, my community, and folks with disabilities. 
Love to you all,
Alie