Monday, January 13, 2014

More Awkwardness Alternatives

You know that moment when you and another person are walking towards one another and you're really pretty far away from each other when you've already acknowledged the other person by a wave or a smile or one of those cool nods.   You know the nod I mean? When someone doesn't really change their facial expression from 'coolly detached' and then they just give you one, slight let you know they saw you...

I could never do those cool nods.  When I see someone and they do the cool nod thing, I've usually already enthusiastically waved with both hands or said "Oh hiiiiiiii!!!" in a completely uncool way.  I'm pretty hopeless with cool nonchalance.  I'm the opposite of nonchalant.  I might be one of the most chalant people I know.

ANYWAY.  So when you are far away from someone and approaching them. And you've already acknowledged each other...and then you still have all this time where you're walking toward each other and it gets a little awkward... Usually one or both parties kind of look away and maybe look back again with a smile as you actually pass.  But it's awkward! 

It just happened with my coworker and I went back to her cubicle to let her know that I recognized that it was awkward.  We both smiled and then kind of looked away until we'd passed each other. And I told her I was working on some alternatives to that situation.  So I better do it.

So here are five things you can do in the "already said hi, but still approaching each other situation":

1. You could bring something to read with you wherever you go so it just never happens. Then when you're approaching someone you could move the book or paper away from your face at the last minute and then just go "OH! HI! I didn't see you there!"

2. You could study your fingernails with the same finish as the above.  But this seems like a cop out to me.

3. You could twirl around like a ballerina and hope that person gets weirded out and goes in another direction.

4. You could wave your hand in front of your face frantically and say "Whoah! Don't come this way! It STINKS over here!" And again, hope they change routes.

5. You could think of a question or story ahead of time so that when you see someone in the distance, you can just start talking loudly and get quieter and quieter until you get closer.  "Oh I'm so glad I see you! I have a question! I was wondering if you used the copy machine today! When I did everything was on purple paper! PURPLE PAPER! Can you imagine?  Well, I had to start my copies all over...." And you just keep going until you've passed each other.

Good luck to you. And if anyone out there wants to give me cool, nonchalant nod greeting lessons, I'll take 'em.

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