Children can smell fear.
You know they can.
When I've volunteered to take a group of children at my kids' school on some kind of going out, I have been terrified and they know. They do! And they tear you from limb to limb.
Just kidding. These guys are harmless.
But my point is, they know when you're unsure. It goes WAY better for me when I'm strong and confident and stand my ground with a group of kids than when I am terrified of them.
When my kids ask me a question and I am in any way not quite sure if I stand behind my "no" they will climb me like Mount Everest until they get a yes.
But when I stand by my answer... When the NO is a resounding NO. When I take a breath and think about how I may not know everything and I may not even always know what's best...it is ME raising these kids and when I say no I mean it.
And they're like. "Okay mommy."
When Tad and I were on our date night in Florida and we rented bikes to ride across the beach, Tad's chain fell off. We pulled over and I was like "Don't worry. I got this." And I put the chain back on for him. Tad was impressed.
"I didn't knew you knew how to do that!" He said.
I had NEVER put a chain back on a bike before. I just pretended like I knew what I was doing and it turned out, I DID!!!
Even when I was in grade school. I remember my friend saying that she loved Belinda Carlisle and I didn't really like her or know her music but I wanted my friend to like me so I was all "Oh, I really like her too!" And then when she asked me my favorite song, I couldn't remember and said "Ummm...that Heaven one?" And she could read me. She knew I didn't love Belinda Carlisle. And then she said that she didn't like Journey. I totally did but, afraid of her not accepting me, I said "Oh, yeah, me neither...." She knew. But another time in grade school when we all though we were growing out of toys, I proudly announced that I loved to make snow caves for all my Smurfs. I owned it. Yeah, I played with toy Smurfs in the snow. And the next weekend two kids in my neighborhood came over to do it with me.
It seems like if you just own it, people are way cooler with it.
So whatever it is for you, something you're nervous about doing or don't think you can do. Parenting issues. Something you like that no one else likes.... Just own it.
Confidence. It sort of overrides all kinds of other qualities and things about a person...
Even when you're about to go Governess for the Von Trapp Family.