Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Yep. Buying condoms is still embarrassing.

So, I have a sexuality education class to teach today.  In this particular session, the students get to put a condom on a penis model to make sure they are doing it correctly.  Because, when condoms are used correctly they are 99.9% effective. And average use (the kind of use that may or may not be correct, or done in a hurry) is only 87%. Still better than nothing, but you may as well learn how to do it right!

At any rate, I ran out of the condoms I had for my classes, that I got from Planned Parenthood as part of my sex ed instruction materials. It's a lot of fun to buy condoms and even penis models when you're obviously doing it for work.

However.

My class it today and I don't have time to go to the health center, so I took a trip to the pharmacy.

The windows were all darkened at Walgreens so I headed next door to the grocery store.  I went in and checked the health aisle. Nothing. Then the feminine hygiene aisle. What the heck! Where are all the condoms?  I realized...I'd have to ask.

Dammit.

I wandered around and found two grocery store workers standing against the meat counter. How appropriate.  I wanted to say "I'm teaching sex ed!" But I figured, I'm teaching my kids to do this, I should be able to do it to.

"Hello." I said.
"Hello." The gentleman who worked there said. He was about sixty something, moustache. White hair.  I did not want to ask this man where the condoms were.  "Can I help you find something?"
"Yeah..." I said. "Do you guys sell condoms?"
"Behind the service desk." He said.
I walked away and made faces of gleeful embarrassment as I walked back down aisle nine.

No one was at the service counter.

Dammit.

A bakery staff walked by. "You need something from the service desk? It doesn't open until eight."
"Oh." I said, disappointed.
"You need cigarettes?" She said. "Lottery tickets?"
I was going to have to say it out loud again.
"Condoms actually."
"Oh!" Well, he can get them for you. Just get in line there." She said, pointing to the checkout area.

I was going to have to ask again.  I looked at the clerk. He was maybe my age, rather awkward looking.

Dammit.

"Hi." I said when it was my turn. "Can you get me something from behind the service counter?"
"Sure."
"Condoms?"
"Oh. I don't think we have those back there."
"The man by the meat area *smirk* told me they were."
He went to check.  Digging around the cupboards, he didn't' appear to be having any luck. Then another clerk walked out. A young twenty-something woman.  His ears turned instantly red while he explained what he was looking for.
She looked over at me. "We can check the health aisle."
"Oh, that's okay." I said. "I already did."
The original clerk held up a box.  "This is all we have."  His whole face was red now, and I suspect mine might have been becoming so too.
The box read
PLEASURE PACK
"Oh, it's fine. There's not enough in there.  I need like twenty. Thanks for checking." I said. And got out of there as fast as I could.

Whooo.  Buying condoms is still embarrassing. I can't wait to tell my students about this experience.

Walgreens was open by the time that I left the grocery store.

1 comment:

  1. Hahhaha...I'll need 20 of them. That's hilarious!

    ReplyDelete