I'm so not competitive that sometimes I just try not to win at board games so the other person can feel good (and I'm not just talking Candy Land with my children)
I'm so not competitive that when I was a kid I would stand out in right field making dandelion crowns, effectively making myself miss any pop flies that came my way.
I'm so not competitive that whether I'm watching someone I know play a sport or I'm playing one myself, I never know what the score even is.
But yesterday I did my first triathlon.
And I wasn't nervous. I didn't care how long it took me. I just wanted to do it...to have done it.
But once I got in that water and that horn sounded...I actually wanted to swim fast. And when I got on my bike, I pedaled hard. And the run (which was the hardest part for me--though I was not expecting that, being a daily runner) I did at my usual pace, without stopping to walk...even when I saw some friends there to cheer us on that I wasn't expecting after seeing Tad, Coen, Lucy and my parents and got choked up. I got so choked up that I nearly hyperventilated for ten minutes... but I'm NOT walking! I said to myself.
Anyway, when I finished, the clock said 2:04 and I was like "Damn..I was hoping to have done it under 2 hours..." And then when one of my teammates showed me this image on her phone:
I was actually pretty excited. That's faster than I thought I would be. Plus 442 out of 1026 isn't bad. Isn't bad at all. I guess I can be competitive after all...as long as it's just with myself.