Tuesday, August 27, 2013

How I suddenly care about what people are saying about Miley Cyrus.

I don't usually pay too much mind about what goes on in Pop Culture.

When Tad and I turn on Conan O'Brian, I'm usually looking at the list of guests and saying, "Who is that? Why don't I know any of these people?  Where's Winona Ryder? Where's Ethan Hawke?" 

I listen mostly to sixties and seventies music in my car and even when I get modern, it's 90s music.  I'm stuck in college basically. I'm like an old lady already, getting all curmudgeonly about the pop music of today.  "What is this RACKET?!"

I was going to insert a sentence here about how I don't really care about the last celebrity who passed away but I had to google "Recently Dead Celebrities" because I don't know who the last celebrity who passed away is

However, I am a Facebook girl, without a doubt.  So I know all about Miley Cyrus and her booty shaking, nearly naked performance every one's talking about.  And I was inclined not to care. But then I saw she wasn't alone on stage..there was a male performer sexing it up too.

Howcome no one's talking about the man on stage with her?  What I DO care about is the way our society still treats women.  And the way our society treats sex.  So on Facebook I came across this:  a sexologist's blog, that my friend posted. And I read it.

I gotta say, I'm so tired of the way we talk about women. I'm tired of the constant posting of pictures of women in various states of undress and body size and the endless commentary about it.  I wish we didn't feel the need to say anything about each other's bodies.  Our bodies are our vehicles for mobility and nourishment and simply the carriers of our spirit....so who CARES if they are big or small or wrinkled or "wibbly" as my daughter would say.  I resolved a long time ago not to tell my friends they look thin and therefore good.  I resolved a long time ago not to make commentary about the size of a woman's body and whether or not she should be wearing one article of clothing or another because of it.  I loved the article on FB about how the only thing we should be saying to our daughters about their bodies is how to take care of them!  I spent all of middle school bending my legs and worrying that my thighs were too thick, my kneecaps not knobby enough.  I spent all of college, comparing myself, obsessing over my weight, feeling not pretty enough...   In fact, as soon as I stopped even looking at People magazine and others like it and I stopped watching pop culture on TV,  when I just focused on myself based on WHO I am, not WHAT I look like, that is when I had the best self-image of my life.

I'm also tired of the slut-shaming.  Good golly (there's my inner old lady coming out)--women and men--we're all just highly intelligent animals (well...most of us) and sex and the way we express it is just one part of who we are, our culture, our drive to propagate...and to make life enjoyable.  And we're such a nation of juxtapositions.  We criticize Miley Cirus all over the Internets about her overly sexy performance yet Playboy magazines and Porn (Internet and otherwise) are FLYING off the shelves.  I mean, I saw a piece of the video and I had to turn it off--yes, it was obnoxious and over-the-top...not something I'm interested in watching.  BUT....  good grief people the fact that people are talking about it at all--whether they're criticizing it or not, it's giving Miley great press and I'm sure she knew that going in.   

Anyway,  I don't really mean to say anything about the performance, as I did not see enough of it to critique, but what I mean to say is that back when the singers of the 60s and 70s that I love so much were modern pop culture--people were shaming women for being sexual.  Back in the 90s where my own "modern" musical tastes are rather stuck--people were shaming women for being sexual.  And today--people are shaming women for being sexual.  And still we hear nearly nothing of men being "overly sexual".  Still a sad double standard.

I find myself suddenly a sexuality educator, talking to real people about their sexuality....  And the people in my class are so happy to be able get real about it, to be able to talk openly about it.  And real human sexuality is not Playboy magazines and rubber bikinis on Miley Cyrus.  That's the capitalized version.  Real human sexuality is just part of real human life.  But we seem to spend our time and money on the former, whilst shaming the latter or pretending it doesn't exist.   

I mean, the kids who are watching these videos and being exposed to all kinds of talk, word and image of capitalized sexuality are the same kids whose parents won't allow them to take my classes on how to negotiate with partners and properly protect themselves from STDs and unplanned pregnancy because heaven forbid we talk about SEX!  The sex that many kids are having anyway. 

Well! How I got from Miley Cyrus to my livelihood, I'm not quite sure, but anyway, this is all just my humble opinion.  Feel free to disagree.

And turn down that racket!

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