A not so subtle entrance, or exit.

I am not a slick, sly or subtle person in the least.  The slier, slicker or subtler I try to be, the louder, bumpier and more obnoxious I get.

Just ask my husband, at five thirty in the morning when I'm trying to get my running gear on and I'm dropping shoes, bumping into the wall and opening the creaky closet door for the fifth time.

Just ask my kids, pre-wake-up on Saturday when I'm trying to "surprise" everyone with pancakes.  Meanwhile I'm dropping pans, opening overfilled cupboards, cups and Tupperware falling loudly to the floor.

Just ask anyone who's ever lived with me.

Quiet and calm, I am not.

The other day, I went to a meeting. I was non-committal about it from the start. I only went because I have a problem with saying 'no' and thought I'd just see what it was about and perhaps then say no later.   I sat down as quietly as I could on my chair.  I gingerly pulled my paper tablet out of my purse.  Apparently a stack of my business cards were hooked onto the pen that hooked on to the tablet and the cards flew out all over myself and my neighbor.  Sort of Alice in Wonderland-ish... Like a card trick gone wrong.


I could not suppress my giggles, try but I might.  Then after picking up all the fallen cards and re-situating myself, I sat quietly (really!) as the meeting started. I even contributed like a real professional.
I went to take a drink of my water and spilled it on my shirt.  As I pulled the dripping bottle away from my face, a small tidal wave seemed to have gone on inside of it and it splashed out, across the table, leaving little water drips on table and floor alike.
An hour in, I had to leave.  Leaving was not too bad; I had pre-written a note to her about what help I could lend.  After writing it, I changed my mind and put it back in my bag.  Then when the woman facilitating looked at me as I passed her, I knelt down and apologized for my early departure. And on second thought gave her my note.  When I left the building I went through a wrong door and almost through an alarmed one before I was stopped by a staff member who guided me out the right way.

It really wasn't that bad. Nor out of the ordinary for my usual exits and entrances.  I'm just glad I'm not a secret agent.  Or a Librarian.