Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A note from beyond. Well, really from October 2nd, 2001

When Harald was dying, I wanted to ask him to send me some sort of a sign, if there really is something after this life.  But he had not come to terms with the loss of his own life and it seemed unfair to let him know that I had.  And I guess I was a little scared to talk about him being gone.

And since he died, last May, I am always hoping that I'll see him in my dreams, as Lucy predicted.  Or that there will be some sort of sign from him. 

Today, I was looking through my email for an old contact for work. I came across this message, subject: Love, love, love, From Harald in 2001. We were still in the Peace Corps and I had just returned from a weekend at his place in Hiiumaa, having taken the ferry from my place in Saaremaa.  See map:

Here's the note:

Alie, in my 9th form class yesterday, Holger, the smart (and smart-assed) kid I really like, asked in class why Americans always laugh so much.  "What do you mean?" I asked.  And he said the other night when you and your friends went for a walk, one of your friends, "the short one," he said, would laugh at ANYTHING.  Then he demonstrated: "Oh! look at the tree! hee hee, ha ha! Oh, look at the wall! Ha ha, hee hee!"
This went on for a half a minute, and I realized he was talking about you.  I started laughing, and he says, "See? What the hell is so funny?"  And of course I started laughing more.  It was hysterical.  So there, you've made for an encounter of the Estonian kind without even realizing it.

Alie, thank you for coming to the party here.  I love hanging out with you, and believe me, this weekend was one of the best ones I've had here.  Thank you also for coming early and helping me with the shopping and getting ready, and generally holding my hand and helping me get over myself and my internal devices that make me nervous.  You are one of the best friends I've ever had.

Have to go.  Love and peace, Harald.

Whether or not this is some sort of sign, like I was looking for, doesn't really matter.  I am missing Harald today and I found this note.  He's one of the best friends I've ever had too. And if it is a sign?  Thanks Harald.  Actually, thanks no matter what.

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