Before 8:00 a.m. and I already feel all warm and happy

This morning I got up at my usual 5:40 a.m. to go for a run.  I was in our front porch, putting my shoes on when I saw my neighbor Joanne walking across our lawn with an armful of white gift bags.  She crept to our back door and I saw her emerge again, with the bags. She was putting a St. Nick present at the door of every house on our block where children live.  Joanne is in her seventies--she has twelve children of her own--she is a wonderful, kind neighbor. 

After my run, I showered and got my children up while Tad made breakfast.  I had to leave early this morning and on my way out the back door, Lucy suddenly peeked her little face through, calling me. She wanted another hug. And to give me her daily kisses, cheek, nose, cheek, forehead.  As I waved goodbye, she called "Goodbye Mama! Don't let the daybugs bite at work!"

On the way to work, I popped in a mix disc that my friend Nathan made and sent me while I was in the Peace Corps, back in 2000.  It's called "A Very Lillith Christmas" and has all kinds of wonderful women singers doing holiday songs.  The one that always gets me is Song for a winter night by Sarah Mclauglin.  I listen to that song (You can listen to it here.)  and I am immediately back in my apartment in Estonia, missing Tad.  I can feel the way I longed to be with him.  That song played in my car this morning and I immediately cried (surprise surprise) but also just thinking about how HARD it was to be away from Tad and how I felt after first falling in love with him...and to be able to listen to a song and just have that feeling right there, right now...  I'm so lucky. 

I really like the holidays.  Even though I'm re-thinking and re-thinking how we want to celebrate every year, worrying about the consumer driven aspects of it and tyring to give my children something that means something though I'm not even sure exactly what I believe it all to mean...  I love the lights and the baking and giving gifts to people and the warmth that comes with it.

This song is the last one that played this morning on my way to work.  I think these lyrics are just lovely. It was written by David Pomeranz but I know it best as sung by John Denver and the Muppets.  I had a diversity training at work yesterday and this song makes me think about some of what we talked about.

It's in every one of us
To be wise
Find your heart
Open up both your eyes
We can all know everything
Without ever knowing why

It's in every one of us
By and by

It's in every one of us
To be kind
Find your heart
Open up both your eyes
We can all know everything
Without ever knowing why

It's in every one of us
By and by
By and by