So my therapist talks a lot about me making choices about how I choose to view things. That "I can't help the way I feel" isn't necessarily a true sentiment. I could be faced with a morning in which my children are taking WAY too long to put their coats and shoes on, any given morning. I can 1. be patient, cool, direct and kind while insisting they do this or 2. Lose my cool. Get pissed. Either way I handle it, their shoes will eventually get on and we will get in the car to go. If I choose option 1, we all feel good, getting to our destinations...happy! In option 2, the kids are usually over it by the time we get to school, but I go to work...unhappy.
So anyway, I am at this sex ed conference and yesterday I went to a session on sex and happiness. The presenter said this: "Happiness does not come from what happens to you. Happiness comes from the story you tell yourself." I love this. She went on and talked about how we can choose our own stories we tell. For instance, I thought my hotel had a pool and when I got here I found out there was no pool. No hot tub. I could have sulked and said, oh my nights are ruined and why isn't there a pool and now what am I going to do (I admit, I did complain a bit when I called Tad). But I could then change my story. So I did. I said, well now I can run on the treadmill in the work out room and order takeout and watch a movie (which I'm doing tonight) and call some friends and catch up. (Which I have also done). Same situation, different story. Happier ending.
It seems so often we think: "I'd just be happy if.." or "I'll be happy when.." But we can be happy NOW.
So to conclude, I give you my own top ten lists of Happiness is.... You can make one too! It's fun!!!
10. An ice cream sundae
9. A new box of crayons
8. A hot tub outside in the nighttime
7. A finished sewing project
6. A good song
5. Getting a letter in the mail
4. Cuddling a sleeping child
3. The way my children laugh when they're tickled
2. A first kiss
1. Falling asleep next to Tad.