Breakin' up is hard to do

I am not good at breakups.  Specifically, I'm not good at being the breaker-upper.  Tad is our break up guy.  He makes all the phone company changes and he's the one who calls to cancel credit cards and subscriptions.  He declines the invites when there's an event or party we can't attend.  When someone knocks on our door selling something, I run and hide, pushing Tad towards the door. 

This is because I cannot say no. If I were in charge, no doubt we'd have reams of Hanukkah wrapping paper, piles of Yankee candles and a freezer full of ready-to-bake cookie dough.

Recently, when Tad purchased insurance for his cell phone and I decided the $7 a month was not worth it, he made ME do the break up call.  "You're the one who doesn't want the insurance." He said.  I sat by the phone, taking deep breaths and ramping myself up to make the call.  Finally, I did.

AT & T Lady: AT & T, what can I help you with today?
Me: Yes. Hello. Um. My husband purchased insurance for his phone and I'd like to cancel it.
AT & T Lady: Okay, I can help you with that. May I ask why you'd like to cancel it?
Me: (my voice bordering on panic) PLEASE DON'T TALK ME OUT OF IT!!!!
AT & T Lady: (laughing) I won't. I won't.  I just need to put down a reason.
Me: (calming down) Oh!
And the conversation went on like that and I did it! I cancelled the insurance.  It took a lot out of me though. I had to have a handful of chocolate chips afterwards to settle me down.

But I have always been better able to handle being broken up with.  And this spring, my therapist broke up with me.  I had two sessions in a row where I was kind of digging for something to talk about.  I would start on something and then she'd ask one of her brilliant probing questions...and then I'd start to answer, pause, and say "You know, that's not really a problem for me anymore!"

So finally she told me that maybe I was done. 
"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked.
She laughed. "No. You can come back for a pick-me-up any time you want or if in a year some more issues arise, absolutely call me.  But you've done some good work.  I think the rest is up to you."
"You ARE breaking up with me!" I said.
She laughed again.  She wasn't really, and I have made a lot of progress since I started. 
I feel like a new person.
In fact. We have to call our old dentist to tell them we're not coming back there and have them send the x-rays to the new dentist.
Maybe I could even handle that one on my own!

And for your viewing pleasure, in honor of this post, Breaking up is hard to do by Neil Sedaka.