Zero.
I usually can say that if I've come to an intersection and I feel as if I should go left, I should probably go right.
I have many a time gone the wrong way out of my own street or driveway.
And I have had a lot of jobs that have required me to drive around the city going to different schools and organizations to teach classes.
So often I am making phone calls like these:
(phone ringing)
My dad: Uh..hello..this is Joel Kriofske Speaking.
(now before I go on, just let me say that my dad does not answer the phone like a normal person. He never just says "hello" It's usually a full sentence like the one above, sometimes even longer including the time of day and who he is and how he's related to the caller which obviously the caller knows since they are the one who called him.)
Me: Dad? Help! I'm driving to a place on Beloit Road and I'm on Forest home. I don't know which direction I'm crossing!
My dad: Okay, well what streets are you passing.
Me: (pausing) Sixty-first, sixty second, sixty-third!!!!
My dad: Well, you're going south.
Me: (hysterically) But I'm at an angle! Am I ever going to get to Beloit Road?!!!
And he'll talk me calmly through until I'm where I'm supposed to be.
I've always been like this. When I first had my driver's license, I was driving with my sister and some friends home to Hartland from Brookfield Square. We got lost. I called my parents.
My mom: Hello? (my mom, on the other hand does say hello like a normal person
Me: Mom? I'm lost.
My mom: When did you leave the mall?
Me: I don't know. A long time ago.
My mom: Well, where are you?
Me: leaning out of a phone booth (remember this was before cell phones) Excuse me, miss. Where are we? (pausing, then back into the receiver) Slinger.
My mom: (with great alarm) SLINGER?!!!
(another pause)
My dad: Hello? This is your father speaking...
So, when I finally got an iPhone and found it had a GPS built in and I could map my way from anywhere to anywhere, I was ELATED. Except for one thing. I would miss those frantic calls to my dad, getting directions and having a little chat with both my parents in the process.
But I needn't have worried. Now that I have an iPhone, I am a walking, talking google machine for my mom and dad.
They call me for phone numbers, addresses, hours of business operation, doctors, etc.. We talk all the time.
And today? They called me to find out "Who sings the 1950's hit song "Secretly". And they sang it to me. Complete with my dad singing the lyrics and my mom singing the back up "why oh why oh why"s. I am not kidding. So I looked it up. And called them back. And we had a nice little chat.
And these are the kind of calls I get all the time. I love it. Having an iPhone has brought me closer to my parents, rather than farther away. Who knew?
Oh and it's Jimmie Rodgers, by the way. In case you were curious.
Alie, I love this post. It made me so nostalgic. I just love Mary & Joel, and can picture them singing in the background.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom and I had a realization on a trip back from IKEA in Shaumburg, IL. She asked me which way to go. I told her that I had no idea. She said to me, "All this time I thought you had your Dad's ability with direction, and you have mine. Oh no!!" So, we called Gary, and he pulled up Google Maps (before we had a GPS), and he talked us back to the freeway.
What a fun read! Thanks for making me laugh.
ReplyDelete