Monday, June 4, 2012

Still waiting for the cloud to dissipate

I woke up this morning a little nervous to read what I blogged last night past one a.m. But I suppose it's not too terrible.

I am still waiting for this cloud of sadness, apprehension, frustration and apathy to dissipate.  I know it will and then a day or two later, I will get my period.  How unfair.  It's like having someone that isn't me, inside of me. I wish she'd leave. She's such a jerk.

But after I blogged last night, and wrote an email to my friend, I got back in bed and started to realize ways that I am to blame for frustration between Tad and I. So I got up again at 2:00 am and wrote Tad (who was sleeping in our room) an apology email.  I wanted to shake him awake and say, "go check your email!!" But that probably wouldn't have been wise.

Tonight we'll talk. And relax. And eventually I'll be myself again and Tad will be himself again.  And we'll be back up the hill on the winding, adventurous path of marriage.  And back down too.  But that's normal.  And the funny part is, my whole problem started last night because Tad washed sheets that I just washed. 

When we were talking Tad said, "I don't think these are real problems."

Maybe not. Maybe so.  But at any rate, I guess they're similar to a lot of people's ups and downs.

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