Sunday, September 25, 2011


First of all, I don't understand why it is that I always look so terrible in the mirrors at the hair salon.  Do they do that on purpose?  I mean, come on!  I walk in there, feeling perfectly good about myself, albeit in need of a haircut, and I sit down on that fancy chair, gaze into the mirror and what do I see?  I washed out, pale woman with bags under her eyes and scraggly hair.  What gives?  So, here's what I look like, walking into the salon:

And HERE'S me, in the salon mirror:

I seriously do not get it.  And THEN, the hairstylist, the woman cutting and washing my hair is just adorable. She has color in her cheeks and her hair is perfect and she's so cute and she smells good and she's dressed nice.  Every time!  Like this:


So Saturday, I went in to get a haircut and sat down and saw my suddenly transformed from cute to hideous face in the mirror.  My super adorable stylist with her blonde wavy hair and vintage blouse asked me what I wanted. I told her, "maybe one or two inches off; it's been awhile."  And she said, "Well, one inch isn't very much.  Maybe more like two or three. You don't want your hair just hanging flat in your face like that." 

What? That's how my hair ALWAYS looks!

So she gets started and then asks, "How do you usually do your hair?"  "Oh..." I reply. "I just wash it."  She is silent for a moment until I see her face register that I just wash it and go.  That's it. "Sometimes I comb it!" I add, trying to be helpful. 

So she begins cutting.  I am staring at the bags under my eyes and suddenly she tilts my chair to the left a bit.  "Sorry about that." She says, "You don't want to be staring at yourself in the mirror!"


She goes on snipping and I find the whole thing so uncomfortable. I mean, am I supposed to try and make conversation? Is it okay if I'm just silent?  She asked me a question earlier, which I answered.  But now its just quiet and I feel weird.  I ask her about the music playing.  Then I'm quiet again.  When it's done and she's ready to dry my hair, she says, "So, how you do your hair again?"  "Um..." I say. "I just wash it.  Then I go. That's it."  "Do you have a hair dryer?"  "Yeah!" I say, enthusiastically. "But I just use it to put plastic on my windows in the winter!"  "What?" She says, not hearing me over the hairdryer.  "Um...yeah, I said yeah, I have one, but I just use it to put plastic on my windows when it's cold." I laugh nervously.  "Oh." She says.  Maybe she doesn't know what I mean.  I decide to let it be.  As she dries my hair, curling it under, she says, "So do you usually blow your hair dry like this?"  I don't know what to say. I cannot stomach saying yet again that I simply don't DO anything to my hair.   So I say, "Yeah. like that."  I think it saves time.

Then she says, "What product do you use?"  I am quiet.  "Well, I don't use product. But I use that minty shampoo from Trader Joe's.  Sometimes Aveda, when I can buy it."  "Good." She says "It's good to use the good stuff."  "Yeah" I say, "My husband really likes the good stuff.  When I try to buy the cheap grocery store stuff, he always looks under the bathroom coutnter for the better stuff..."  "What?" She says.  She's blowdrying again.  "Um..I buy Aveda or the stuff from Trader Joe's."  Did I already say that? Oh dear.

Finally she's done.  I look like I play a receptionist in a movie.  That's okay, when I get home I'll wash it and dry it and look like me again.  I'm just glad to be outside again.  And not looking in that mirror!


  1. My favorite blog to date, Alie! And, please email me so I can hook you up with a stylist that you will like and enjoy funny conversation with---I have the best one ever, she'd be our mom friend if she was a mom and went to Highland. ---MaryAnne

  2. Very funny. Loved the part about using your blow dryer to put the plastic in your windows. I do that every winter myself so that really cracked me up.

  3. As someone who only drags herself to the salon about twice a year, I can totally relate. I also wash and wear, usually a comb is involved so I can get that kid like straight part in middle. I only use the blow dryer only when it is cold out and only on the back of my head since my hair is so thick. Otherwise it will be damp for hours. Anyway, my hairdressers always tell me that you can't call them "roots" when they are three inches long. *sigh*