Friday, September 23, 2011

Self improvement

One of the things I do in my job is teach kids about having better self-esteem. And how better self-esteem leads to assertiveness and how assertiveness and liking yourself really makes you the best person you can be and leads you to good relationships, success, fame and fortune..well at least satisfaction with your life anyway.

And when I do talk to groups of kids, one example I always use is the scenario of ordering a Big Mac at McDonald's (teenagers love McDonald's, in case you didn't know) and getting a fish sandwich instead!  And we talk about the possible reactions: Yelling at the person-Aggressive, Just walking away dejectedly with your fish sandwich, wishing you had a Big Mac-Passive OR telling the person politely and with confidence that you got the wrong order-Assertive.  Not always the easiest thing to do.  But the best way, indeed.

And I always confide that I am one of those people who will do the third option, but feel very nervous about it.  Tad makes fun of me at restaurants because when our server comes, and I ask for another glass of water, or some jam or ketchup, I act like I'm asking for their first born.  This is how he says I look, when I'm asking for these types of items:

I do NOT do that, by the way.  But when he does the fingers crossed joke, it not only makes me laugh, but makes me realize when I'm being all nervous about being assertive. And then instead of 'can I please have a glass of water, whenever you have big deal....' I say 'Yes, I'd like another glass of water please.'

So I'm working on it.  It's very hard for me.  I'll be honest.  I want everyone to like me.  Everyone.  But I do know, as a smart intellectual-type person that not everyone is going to like me.  I do know that. Jeez Louise! And I feel better and stronger every time I practice my assertiveness skills.  Every time I tell someone 'no'. Every time I tell someone I do not like something they did.  I realize that its part of being confident.  Not caring if everyone doesn't like you.

So anyway, I was at work, mailing some photos to one of my support group members and wrote 'DO NOT BEND' on the envelope. Then of course, I felt bad for the mail carrier. I did not want him or her to think that I was yelling.  So I fixed it. It looks like this.

See how I added the smiley face? That'll make 'em feel better!  Ha ha.  Apparently I still have lots of work to do in my self-improvement quest for assertiveness skills.  But at least I'm trying.

Enjoy some assertiveness cartoons and have a good weekend! If you want to, that is.

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