Thursday, January 17, 2013

aahhh Freak OUT!

I am hoping this nervous breakdown of a morning turns into a pleasant and happy afternoon and evening!
I went to bed last night so tense that Tad was laughing at me as he pulled my shoulder toward him and it snapped back in its stressed out hunch.  I've told you before I cycle with the moon and let's just say the full moon is next week so I'm suddenly anxiety ridden without my mind's consent. 
I was lying in bed last night thinking all kinds of unpleasant stressed out thoughts and fell asleep that way.  When I woke up this morning, Tad was already getting out of the shower and I felt like my consciousness was stuck in a bowl of molasses.  I groaned and dragged myself out of bed and into the shower where I clumsily knocked the shampoo bottle on my toe, my ear plug into the nasty bin of children's bath toys, and banged my elbow on my way into the shower.  After I was dressed I thanked Tad for being the first one up this week.
"I have to get up." he said. "If I don't get this train rolling by 6:00, I'm in trouble.  But I'll beg you to let me sleep in tomorrow."
Tomorrow the kids are off school and I'm home from work.  Tad has to go in.  He obviously deserves a sleep in but I was so tired, it was one of those mornings where I think Whatever it is I'm doing's cancelled.  I'm going to bed at 8:00 and I'm never doing any evening activities ever again. So suddenly I was stressed out about the kids waking up too early tomorrow.  And getting up with them.  Tad settled me down, letting me know that I could sleep in on Saturday.
Now that I'm up and at them, I'm over that.  But Coen had a freak out on the way out of the house because his book wouldn't fit into his backpack along with his shoes and his snow pants and his lunchbox.  He flopped himself all the way to the minivan.  Tad quietly remarked so only I could hear that the boy can beat him in chess but can't figure out what to do with the two things in his hands.
Once I got Lucy into her classroom, she was pulling her dress up and fixing her tights and yanking it back down again.    And then she was tearful because she was uncomfortable in the corduroy dress she'd chosen and we didn't have any other clothes with us.  I took her to the lost and found but all they had were pants and there's no way this girl will wear pants. (How I gave birth to a child who won't wear pants is beyond me) So I left her crying and uncomfortable in her classroom.
I stopped in the office when I saw three women who I KNEW would help me sort it out in an honest way.  And they said it was okay that I go and get her something she'd be more comfortable in, which was what I wanted to do...though worried about being too indulgent. 
My friend Rachel found me a dress and I brought it up to Lucy who put it on.  Her feathers were still ruffled and I gave her a hug and tried to be reassuring.  Her teacher smiled at me, "Now don't come back again!" She said. 
I got to work, and was rushing to a 9:00 meeting which turned out to be a 9:30 meeting.  So I have a little time to spare to tell you this tale. 

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