Who is this villain, you might ask? Well any of you female readers who happen to reside with a male might find that at times the male with whom you reside, chooses to use YOUR razor. It is my strong opinion that women's razors are NOT made for men's facial hair. Now, long ago, when I was first dating Tad, is when the Villainous Hair Face made his first appearance.
Tad would sleep over and lacking all of his toiletries, would sometimes use my razor to shave his face. Once I realized this was happening, I burst into the kitchen, brandishing my damaged razor and proceeded to rail on Tad for this terrible misdeed. But I was so mad and flustered that I messed up my words. So this is what I said, in my tirade:
"You can't use MY razor for your HAIR face! Hair face is rougher than leg hair! Leg hair is soft and Hair FACE is rough and your hair face is wrecking my razor!!"
After I had finished ranting, I noticed that Tad had a bemused grin on his face.
"WHAT?!" I demanded.
"Hair face." He said simply.
And then of course I realized that I'd been saying hair face instead of face hair the whole time and could hardly be taken seriously.
From then on, whenever Tad's razor was no longer usable or he used my razor for some reason, we said, in our household, that the Villainous Hair Face had struck. I like to imagine him as a real villain. As if my husband somehow disappears and is replaced by a mustachioed, evilly laughing bad guy who grabs my delicate pink razor and shaves off all his facial hair, after rubbing his hands together mischievously.
Ah, that Villainous Hair Face. I shall go to Target and buy a new men's Gillette so that he shall not strike again anytime soon!
|My depiction of the Villainous Hair Face|