Thursday, November 3, 2011

Adventures in hearing...


So I've always had ear troubles.  When I was a kid, I had an ear infection every six weeks or so.  Back then, there was no syrupy pink-made-to-order-sweet flavored medicine.  It was a shot. A needle.  And it went right in your butt cheek (because it hurt so much, that was the best place to put it).  Oh how I dreaded those doctor visits. I still can feel that searing pain...  okay, sorry, I'll stop.

Anyway, when I was 27 years old and just about to finish my tour of duty in the Peace Corps, and I'd had ear infection after ear infection...I suddenly lost all hearing in my ear.  Turned out I had a cholesteatoma. A common benign tumor in people with frequent infections.  My Peace Corps nurse found it! Amazing, since I'd seen specialist after specialist who'd noticed a problem but never been able to diagnose it.

So I've had two surgeries on my left ear, almost all organs of hearing taken out.  Today I wear a hearing aid in that ear, and it does a world of difference.  I can hear!

The wonderful things about not being able to hear?  When I'm on the phone (my good ear of course) I am never distracted by noise around me because I can't hear them.  At night, I never get up with the kids. Tad always does it.  Why? I don't hear them. I hear neither call nor cry in the middle of the night. I usually sleep deaf side up.  When Tad hugs me really close, my hearing aid whistles.  This leads him to feel as though he is hugging R2D2. I like that.  One more is that sometimes, I think I hear something or I just don't and I fake the answer.  This leads me to answer all sorts of amusing things. 

Example:
Friend: Alie, do you want to go to lunch or did you bring one?
Me: *nodding profusely, dopey smile on my face*

Another:
Friend: Alie are you off work tomorrow?
Me: Sure! You can borrow it!

It's very amusing.  I wish I could think of more.

Yesterday, I wore my hearing aid to work and all day I was like, 'what's going on? why can't I hear anyone?' My coworkers dealt with my "WHAT?!" "Huh?" all day long.  In the evening, when I put my hearing aid away, I opened its little nighttime case.  Guess what was still in there.  The battery.  Yeah, I wore my hearing aid all day long yesterday with no battery.

Today everyone sounds much better.

Right?

What?

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