Wednesday, April 25, 2012

A comedy of errors morning

This morning was sort of full of comedic problems.

6:05  The alarm goes off.  I hit snooze.
6:10 The alarm goes off. I try to hit snooze but knock the alarm off the table and it goes skittering across the floor. (I should mention, our alarm clock is Tad's old cell phone on vibrate).  There it sits on the floor, still vibrating.  I try to get it without getting out of bed and nearly fall out onto the floor. I knock something else over.
Tad: What's happening?
Me: I'm hitting snooze
Tad: You're hitting snooze?  Throwing things on the floor and jumping on my arm and falling out of bed?
Me: I'm trying to hit snooze. There.  Now we can go back to sleep for five more minutes.
Tad: I don't know how I'm going to get relaxed again after all that. 
By this time it's:
6:15 The alarm goes off again. I get up and take a shower.  In the shower, I remember that it's actually Tad's turn to shower first.
6:25 I go in by Tad to wake him up.
Me: (A little too loudly) I'm out of the shower!
Tad: Shhh.  I noticed
Me: I accidentally showered first when it's your turn to shower first. Isn't that funny?
Tad: Yeah, this morning is hilarious.

Upstairs, Tad gets the children ready for school. 
Lucy:  Daddy, Mommy said it was going to be 75 today.
Tad: Really?
Lucy: Yes
Tad: (Calling downstairs) Alie?
I don't hear him because my hearing aid is broken so he has to say my name several times.  But I'll spare you. (sort of)
Me: Yeah?
Tad: Is it going to be 75 today?
Me: What?
Tad: Is it going to be---
Me: (interrupting) I heard you. No, it's going to be like yesterday.
Tad: Lucy said you said it's going to be 75.
Me: No...I didn't say that.
Lucy: (Yelling from the recesses of her room) Yes you did!!
Me: No I didn't!
Tad: Okay well, let's find you a long sleeve shirt then
Lucy (to Tad) YOU said it was going to be 75 today.
Tad: I don't think anyone ever said that.

When they all came downstairs, Lucy saw that I had the box of granola out.  She loves granola and excitedly grabbed the box which was conveniently placed behind a full cup of water. She spilled the water all over the table, floor and herself. I took her back upstairs to begin yet again the arduous process of choosing another outfit to wear. At least she didn't try to claim unseasonably warm weather again.

When I came back I found that Tad was doing this thing that drives me absolutely insane. He was using a beach towel to wipe up the spill.  This drives me crazy because beach towels are big and I don't see why such a big item (which takes up lots of room in the washing machine) should be used to clean up a spill.  I make an angry noise. 
Me: I am angry.
Tad: I can tell
Me: You did it again
Tad: Oh, yes, I remember you mentioning something about this
Me: (Holding up a kitchen towel for an exhibit) You can use THIS kind of towel to clean up spills.  THIS kind of towel doesn't take up so much room in the washing machine. 
Tad: I used two of THOSE kind of towels. They didn't do anything
Me: You used TWO kitchen towels and a beach towel to clean up a cup of water?
Tad: (Smiling proudly) Yes.
Me: ARG!!!! (I don't think that's exactly how you spell the noise I made.)

Finally, while we were eating breakfast, Lucy requested chocolate milk on her mini wheats. I said no.  I told her it was because they already have sugar on them (which is true and a better parenting reason for the real reason which was that there is hardly any chocolate milk left and I don't want to waste it on cereal that Lucy may or may not eat).  So she poured her whole cup of white milk in to her cereal. Then Coen requested chocolate milk on his. (I don't mind so much giving it to him because he's guaranteed to actually eat his food so it wouldn't feel like such a waste). I brought him into the kitchen and made him eat his at the stove, sitting on a stool and I stood with him so Lucy wouldn't become indignant about her lack of chocolate milk.  Lucy came in to ask me something and I deftly intercepted her, bringing her back to the table.  Tad raised his eyebrows at me.  I went back to join Coen.
Tad (coming into the kitchen): Oh.
Me: We're involved in an operation.
Tad: I can see that.
Me: It's highly secret.

But Coen was done and Lucy "finished" her breakfast.  Which basically looks like her breakfast did when I first put it on the table except there is a bite out of her bagel.  So you see why I don't want to waste chocolate milk on her.

And why I had my son eating at the stove.

Actually, I'm not sure why I did that. Except that's where I had hidden his cereal. He just pulled up a stool and started eating.

It was off.  Don't judge me. 

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