Monday, April 30, 2012

Everything's not always rainbows and rose bottoms

The kind of thing I do at the beach, in case a helicopter is low enough to see.
 So, this weekend, a very dear friend of mine came to stay.  After she left, Tad was telling me how much he liked having her around. We talked about it on Sunday.  Though, perhaps I should back up... On Saturday morning, Tad woke up in a bad mood. I could tell when I got into bed at 12:30 a.m. after going out on Friday night, that he wasn't doing so well. His sleep felt very serious to me.  It was a serious, no-nonsense sleep.  I wonder if that makes sense to you, readers...  Sometimes when I go out and come home after Tad's already gone to bed and I get into bed and he's sleeping, I can tell he feels good and happy and I can wake him up to tell him I'm home and cuddle up.  But Saturday night, when I got into bed, I could tell, by his serious sleeping that he wasn't in a good place.
So Saturday morning, I let him sleep in and when he got up he walked into the living room and turned up the thermostat.
Tad: Don't believe in heat around here?
Me: (Looking at him and narrowing my eyes)
Tad: (Turning down the TV) You got some good loud shows on? (Walking away)
Me: (Looking at Steph for mutual annoyance...and not getting it.)
Steph: He's so cute
What? Cute?
So fast forward to later on in the day.
Tad: I like having Stephanie around.  It's really comfortable being around her, even when I'm in a bad mood.
Alie: Yeah, when you came out this morning and were all like (in a purposefully deeper and grumpy-sounding voice) turn up the heat! Turn down the TV! She said you were CUTE!
Tad: (Laughing) Yeah, well she knows its not all rainbows and rose bottoms.

Now this was the second time this past weekend that I was accused of thinking everything should be all rainbows and rose bottoms. Except those words would only have been used by Tad. I believe the other complaint was that I think everything should be all peace and togetherness.

My sister and our friend were having a small conflict prior to our girls dinner outing on Friday.  She called me ahead of time to make sure I wasn't going to be "all dramatic peacemaker at dinner and try to mediate".  I assured her that I would stay out of it.

In some ways, both those statements  (ahem), complaints, are true.

But, thanks to the therapy I've been doing over the last year, I can actually handle a conflict without feeling like I'm going to explode.  I can sit in a room where people are having tension and not want to run screaming from it.  I can go through a day knowing that someone is mad at me and not want to spend all my time and energy trying to get them unmad or no longer annoyed with me.

That is some big progress, people.

BUT having said all that. I do like peace and harmony. And being positive even when things are rotten.  And conflict resolution.  And rainbows and rose bottoms.  Whatever those are.

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